For the Beauty of Motherhood

My roommates aren’t particularly messy people. But they’re not meticulous, either.

I regularly remind myself that the distance between my expectations of a clean, organized space and my lived reality has more to say about me than it does about them. And I try to temper how often I spend my flexible time picking up clutter or doing chores that the kids (now 12, 9, and 9) can do themselves.

I hope my standards for tasks like loading the dishwasher, folding clothes, mowing the lawn, or cleaning the toilet bowl don’t prevent them from trying. I’d rather have them pitch in, experiment, and attempt to help than to opt out because it might not be perfect. I want home to be a place they learn to believe God’s delight in our “good enough”, to trust that perfection was never the point.

A few nights ago, around 2:00am, my husband and I could hear one of the kids moving around upstairs. They were opening drawers and walking around. The bathroom sink turned on and off a few times. After about twenty minutes, and just when we were about to go assess the situation, the noise stopped and we both nodded off again.

In the morning, we learned that one of them had been up with a bloody nose, grabbing tissues, washing their hands, stripping the bed, and trying to clean up the mess it made. “You know you can wake us up anytime you need help, right?” They did know. But they wanted to see if they could figure it out first. And, for the most part, they did.

Later in the day, I went upstairs and found what appeared to be a crime scene, hastily wiped and more towels in need of washing. With help from the bright light of day and my passion for deep cleaning, the evidence was soon erased. But the smile on my face remained. I was proud of them for trying, for their good enough, and for the ways their own sense of responsibility is coming into focus.

May they keep trying. And may I keep learning new ways to make room for their trying.

This post is part of a blog tour celebrating the release of The Beauty of Motherhood: Grace-Filled Devotions for the Early Years, available now wherever you buy books!